


after the raven has had its say, id be home with you

by last_beginning



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, ambiguous ending, but i hope youll enjoy, heyyy first fic, i dont really have too much to add here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23128606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/last_beginning/pseuds/last_beginning
Summary: Fjord and Caduceus take a walk in the forest.They're also dead.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57





	after the raven has had its say, id be home with you

**Author's Note:**

> title from "in a week" by hozier which also inspired this whole story

Fjord lay his head down, pillowed in Caduceus’ lap, eyes closed as Caduceus’ fingers moved softly through his hair, combing over it. He hummed softly above him, and Fjord listened to it like the Wildmother herself was humming to him. He probably should be more worried. But… for now, he was calm.

(“Is this what you expected?” Fjord had asked Caduceus, his voice soft with anxiety and care as Caduceus had frozen up at the realization. 

“It was not,” he had managed back, his eyes empty and staring at their bodies.)

They lay in a field, just a few feet away from their own corpses, where blood matted the ground and their bodies had gone still. There was a sense of tension, soft but brewing in the air as they slowly shared the same thought with subtle glances. How would the Nein react? They had dealt with death before and been devastated, but Jester could do something. She was wonderful- she would do something.

For now, though, they felt no cold or pain, not bugs crawling over them or itchiness. They were dead. And… he didn’t want to say anything, but Fjord had this haunting sense of relief. Since his patron had broken contract with him, anger towards Fjord coiling and drowning him, he had worried what would happen when he died. He did not want to know if Uk’otoa could eat souls, and did not want to be the test run.

He knew Caduceus was afraid though. He was by no means insightful, but Caduceus was by no means a skilled actor. He wasn’t sure what Dueces’ had thought death would be. Nothingness? An afterlife? Rebirth? He did not know how to ask. But he apparently did not expect this, these spectral forms of their bodies.

Fjord opened his eyes, looking into the empty gaze of Caduceus. He gave a smile, the worry lines still bleeding into it, and Fjord lifted his face to kiss him. Yeah, that was a nice development. He wondered if it was better to have died together than to have seen the other die. No, that would definitely be worse for sure. He wouldn’t know what to do if he was alone without his Deuces. 

Caduceus melted into the kiss, a soft thing of comfort, and Fjord could feel him holding on like a lifeline. Fjord raised a hand to move through his curtain of hair, placing it against the pink underneath and letting Caduceus lean into it. He pulled away, and Caduceus moved a hand to caress a thumb across Fjord’s cheek. “You alright, Duecey?” His voice was soft.

Caduceus made a noise in his throat that sounded too harsh to be a grunt, like his throat was red from the urge to cry. “Mm. I have… seen and caused a lot of death. I thought I’d be ready if it ever came.”

Fjord sat up, and wrapped his arms around Caduceus. “Duecey…” He leaned his head into the crook of his shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay. You said death was a pause, right? It will be okay.” Caduceus let out another noise, soft and less brimming with sorrow. Fjord stepped up and held a hand out for him. “How about we walk around a bit, see if we can’t get back to the others?”

Caduceus looked over to their bodies once more, took a breath, and took his hand, leaning against him as they began to walk. “This is nice.” The forest hummed with life around them, even the battle just a few feet away not sending everything running. ‘Nature knows violence’, Caduceus had said. Bugs and animals walked through their feet, and birds and bees and butterflies through their heads and chests. 

“Ah,” Caduceus spoke suddenly, “I can hear Jester calling for you.” He began the lead the way, Fjord leaning against him as they walked. He missed Caduceus’ warmth. He wasn’t cold, there was just… nothing but feeling his body pressed against him. No temperature. 

They continued their slow pace, walking as Jester’s voice become apparent and louder, joined by more of the Mighty Nein. He heard panic enter their voices, and rubbed the side of his face. “D’you wanna be there when they find us?” Caduceus looked out into the forest and gripped Fjord’s hand. He slowly shook his head. “That’s alright. We can just… continue to walk around.”

They walked, and walked, and walked, until time lost meaning to them. They didn’t feel tired, or hungry, or thirsty, or have to piss. It was just endless soft wakefulness. They emerged from the forest at some point, though Fjord wasn’t sure when. The sky was dark, and he couldn’t count when it had turned. He didn’t let go of Caduceus.


End file.
